


God bless this perfect shit storm

by RamIsAway



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :(, Angst, Cigarette Ahegao - Penelope Scott, Crying, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, I have mixed feelings abt Mr Ghostbur, I love all these characters but christ, Inspired by Music, Mr 'no i will not talk about my problems', Philza Minecraft please don't be so absent to everyone but technoblade sir i will cry, Philza's questionable parenting, Sad Ending, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad with a Sad Ending, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, Want some blue :), he's trying his best, um, whilst repressing EVERYTHING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamIsAway/pseuds/RamIsAway
Summary: I hope that it takes me with it.(He's never really been part of the family, has he?)
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	God bless this perfect shit storm

**Author's Note:**

> Title and desc from Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott!!!!!

There's someting Tubbo realizes, ugly and twisted, something harmful and horrible, it sits heavy in his stomach, always there as he pushes his way through the days.

He did not have a good family.

Maybe he could have, if his adoptive father didn't wait until the last minute to swoop in and attempt to save the day, to kill his son as he finally broke fully, deep, deep in insanity and paranoia.

Maybe if Philza didn't show such blatant favortism, with no sort of consequence at all for Technoblade, who was a rather big part of L'Manburg's destructuion. Maybe Phil could have been a better dad if he hadn't left his second youngest son with the weight of the world heavy on his shoulders at the tender age of 16, leaving him to exile his younger brother, with no father nor older brothers to guide him in his newfound presidency.

Maybe he has bad brothers, two, specifically, ones who manipulate and shape him into the perfect little child soilder, and give him presidencies just to blow it up in front of him, ones who ignore his existance and then blow him up not once, but twice, and help to tear apart the land he's been given.

Maybe Tubbo was just a bad kid, despite him doing all he could to help, to do good, to be good, so he wouldn't get left of the side of a road again. It seems to him like that was all rather useless, as now he's been left behind in the dirt, all alone, with not even his cabinet beside him.

Quackity is busy with new land, getting all buddy buddy with members of the smp, members of the other side, enemies, Fundy, engaged to Dream, Karl's always been close with the Dream Team, Philza left long, long ago, and Tommy is gone.

Maybe it was somehow Tubbo's fault that things have gone the way they have, if he was oh so bad enough to drive everyone away then it's.. possible. Maybe somehow he pushed Eret, he was the reason that the former king betrayed L'Manburg how ever many months ago. Maybe if he had paid closer attention to Wilbur, done better, didn't let him leave during Tubbo's speech and L'Manburg wouldn't be in ruins. Somehow he pushed Technoblade too, maybe it wasn't about goverment, but mearly about Tubbo being that goverment. And, well, he sure as hell knows Tommy being gone was his fault too.

Maybe he's the bad brother, or bad kid.

He's probably the problem, it seems that way.

He wants to cry. He wants his brother.

But Tubbo made his decision, and now he's truly alone.

He never wanted to be president, he never wanted responsibilities and trauma, he just wanted to be a kid with his best friend and brother at his side. He wishes to go back in time, back before even L'Manburg, when he was doing just that, when it was just him and Tommy. Back when he had even been friends with the Dream Team. Back before Wilbur. And Techno. And Schlatt.

He shakes his head. He does not need to think of that man now. No use adding to the growing pile of Shit-Tubbo-has-to-feel-bad-about-today.

Speaking of which, theres suddenly a cold, not-quite-figure sitting at his side.

Tubbo sighs as the ghost turns to him, a small smile gracing pale lips. "You look sad," He comments airily, voice raspy and echoey. In his hand is a bit of Lapis, a bright blue, especially compared to the ghostly grey hand it sits in. "Would you like some blue?" He asks. Ghostbur, for the short time of his existence, he's always been kind, understanding. Tubbo kind of hates it.

Something tugs in him, and without a word, he reaches over and plucks the Lapis from ghostly fingers, shivering lightly at the cold from the.. not-quite-skin. "What am I to you?" He asks. He's heard Wilbur, or, well, Ghostbur, refer to Tommy, Techno, and Phil as family, brothers, and dad, and he wonders if the same will be applied to him.

The ghost's head tilts, biting his lip. "A friend?" he says, with a confused note in his voice, dull eyes dancing curiously. Tubbo withers slightly. Was he being brothers with Wilbur not a good memory? Did he not deserve that much, at least?

He kind of wants to cry. "Just a friend?" He asks, achingly soft. He wants to curl up in a ball and never come out, to stay inside and ache on his own, to wallow until he inevitably withers away into nothing. Wilbur apparently mot finding them being brothers a good memory is the icing on todays shit cake, its far too much for Tubbo to handle.

"Yes?" Confuision puddles in dead eyes, pale grey fingers fumble with the bottom of a bright yellow sweater. He seems to be getting nervous, Tubbo cant find it in himself to care, he's _hurt._ "Is something wrong with that?" His voice is gentle, like it usually is, and that, for reasons Tubbo can't quite place, makes him so angry.

"Yes!" He cries, tears brimming in dark blue eyes. He's so hurt, the least Ghostbur could do after all Wilbur had done would to him be to _fucking_ _remember him!_ "Yes, Wilbur, I'm your _brother!"_ He's shaking now, hands curled into fist, crushing the Lapis he still holds in his hand. It's not fair, not fair, not fair! Why did Ghostbur remember all of his family except for him? 

Ghostbur shrinks away at the use of his name, face twisting and flashing. He looks away, fingers fisting fabric. "No, no that can't.. I would remember that," he says sharply, voice wavering, he sounds panicked. _Good,_ Tubbo thinks, tears slipping down red cheeks. _Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him._ "That doesn't make sense. It isn't true. It isn't."

"Why would I lie about that?" Tubbo leans closer as the ghost leans back. He's so upset, he wants to leave, yet he wants to make Wilbur understand how he feels, how he hurt him, despite knowing the ghost isn't quite his older brother. "I'm telling the truth."

Ghostbur shakes his head rapidly, standing up. "No." he says, turning away. "I would remember. It would be good. Leave.. leave me alone, Tubbo." Tubbo stands up right after him, ignoring the tears. 

"It is true. You could ask Tommy, or Technoblade, or Philza if you really wanted to and they'd tell you that it's true." Would they? Would they, Tommy excluded, forget about him too? Did he not matter? He doesn't know what to do. He sinks back to his knees. "I.." He chokes on the rest of his words, hands running over his face. Fuck.

"..Why don't we go visit Tommy together?" The ghost asks, cold hands coming to rest on Tubbo's shoulders, barely there. "We can go talk to him together." He's gentle, as he always is, even when upset. Tubbo doesn't know what to think about that anymore.

He shakes his head, keeping his hands over his face. He doesn't want to look at his dead brother. "I can't. You go, I'll stay behind, I've got things to do." It's not a lie, he really does have things to attend to that he'd been neglecting. He always has things to do. He wishes he could ask the real Wilbur why he was made president. 

Ghostbur's quiet for a moment, and then; "Tommy misses you." That makes Tubbo's heart quake, more tears pushing past sore red eyelids. "He would love to see you, come with me." Despite Tubbo's blow up he's still being so nice. He doesn't understand, he'd rather the ghost get mad than just keep being nice.

"I can't." He repeats, shoulders shaking. He wants Ghostbur to leave him alone oh so badly. He want's to be left alone to wallow. "I exiled him, I can't just go back. Please leave."

There's silence again, ghost hands leave his shoulders. Tubbo, somehow despite how cold Ghostbur himself had been, feels even colder. "Okay." He says, slowly, carefully. "I'll tell him you said hi." Tubbo doesn't argue with that and Ghostbur leaves in search of the Nether portal.

And Tubbo is all alone again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes i did listen to cigarette ahegao religiously while writing this what abt it. tbh i wanted it to hold more of the songs energy but thats hard and im not that good at writing. DESPITE THAT, i am kind of proud of this its probably the best if wrote in quite a bit so,,, eh.
> 
> Tubbo sad :( it makes me sad that Tubbo is canonly part of the family yet it's barely acknowledged :(((((((( Tubbo :(
> 
> but uh yea!! Lemme know what u thought of this :)


End file.
